Speaker 1 (00:20):
PMDD shaped my life for 17 years before I could name it, I spent those years searching for answers, questioning my sanity, and desperately seeking treatments that actually worked. My painful journey had an unexpected twist. Helping others heal from PMDD became my life's purpose. Hi, I'm Jess, a board certified nutritional therapist coach, the founder of her mood mentor and your host. This is PMDD PEP Talk, A weekly reminder that your suffering is real, your experience is valid, and your future is brighter than your symptoms suggest. Each week we're going to explore the truths about PMDD that nobody talks about, the kind of truths that shift something deep inside you and make you think maybe there's more possible than I imagined. Whether you're in the depths of luteal darkness or riding the clarity of your follicular phase, you're exactly where you need to be because here's what I know for sure.
(01:17):
Healing PMDD isn't just about managing symptoms, it's about transforming your life. This challenge, as brutal as it can be, is an invitation to know yourself more deeply and live a more joyful purpose filled life. PMDD might feel like your whole story, but it's just a chapter and you get to write what comes next. Welcome to PMDD, PEP Talk, quick pep talk, pause. Remember that everything we talk about here is meant to educate and inspire. Always team up with your healthcare provider for personal medical advice. All right, now let's get into it. Hello, this is Jess with her mood mentor, and today I am meeting with Athena, one of our one-to-one clients and PMDD rehab students, and she is here to share her PMDD story with us.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Thanks for having me, Jess.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Thanks for being here. So excited to bring your story to the community. So let's start with just tell us how has PMDD impacted you? What role has it played and give us all those juicy details.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah. Gosh, when I think back to December, January when I first reached out to you, Jess, I was unrecognizable deep in it. Yeah, knew something was wrong, but wasn't sure what, and I knew you were the person to reach out to having the worst periods of my life, like nausea and vomiting and spotting and sore breasts and things that haven't normally happened to me. So it was like you came to the rescue and of course it still took me some time to be like, do I need this? And then I was like, okay, hitting rock bottom, fine, I'll do it. I'm worth it.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, it's so hard to make that choice. I think coming into this program, it's not like I'm going to a yoga retreat or it doesn't have the same fun buffer around it. It's like, Hey, I'm really needing some help with this. So it takes a lot to say, Hey, I am worth this investment. My future is worth this investment, and we hate it when people are at rock bottom. We never want that, but it's so common that we hit that place before it's like, yep, it's time. I'm worth it. And you were there too, and I'm wondering how long had these symptoms been impacting you? How long had you been dealing with them before we started working together?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh gosh, at least. I mean, I think April, may of 2024 is probably when something was off, but like I said, my S have always kind of been a little bit bad, but it was real bad. So I could say my whole life, I don't know. But PDD wise, probably the past year or two is when I was like, these mood swings are new to me.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, and I love to see you taking action. Just one to two years is a long time to live with the mood symptoms, and there are many of us out there who it was decades. So the fact that you were like, no, we're not doing this for decades, we're going to address this now, is just so inspiring to see because that suffering is just unnecessary. So much of the time when you came into the program, I have my notes here, but how many days do you think you were experiencing symptoms when you first came in?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I want to say daily, but you can check your notes.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I mean, I think probably to some degree because there was a lot that you were dealing with. It was outside of just what was in the PMDD category, but I had 15 days down of moderate to severe symptoms that you were dealing with
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Half the month. Yep.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And how was that over the last year or two years? What role did that play in your just quality of life day-to-day relationships?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, very limiting. I mean, I kind of consider myself like an introverted extrovert. I really vibe off of people if it's the right people and to then have to say no to weddings and no to beautiful maiden to mother celebrations and these gorgeous rituals and ceremonies that are part of life, and then to realize I'm in my lute or I feel exhausted and I don't want to drive that far, and it's just too much to wrap my head around to think about nourishing my body and being my best self in front of people. So I would isolate and in some senses take care of me, but it was very much protective. I can barely handle this. How can other people handle this?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That's so much to carry and it really takes you out of so many of the important aspects of being alive, being there to witness weddings and births and the things that really make life worth living cycle after cycle for 15 days. I mean, it really starts to wear you down and it's also not just the 15 days. There's the days before where you're like, what's going to happen? You're bracing and you're fearful, and then there's the days after when you're feeling better, but it's like, no, I'm catching up. I'm apologizing. I'm trying to piece my life back together. From those 15 days that I was hiding away and I was not able to just do the life that I want to be doing.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
It kind of felt like extremes. It was like, okay, knowing that the luteal to menstrual phase is going to be a shit show, I'm going to maximize the first two, like the follicular and oh my gosh, what's the other one? Why am I blanking?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Ovulatory.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Ovulation, duh. Yeah. It was like, I must maximize all the social events really get a lot out of this, but then I think it was causing this crash and burn because it wasn't this even keel having a routine rhythm. I was like, okay, got to fill my whole social battery for the first half of the month.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah, that's so common for everyone listening. Let's just validate it wasn't just Athena doing this. We all get into that pattern because that is the time that you're living, so you're like, I'm going to cram it all in that period of time, and then we start, as we learn more, we start to realize, oh, that's actually triggering worse symptoms later because we can only live so much and meet our needs. I'm curious, you had tried numerous things before you came to work in the program. What motivated you to take this type of approach?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, great question. I've always been kind of hippie, woo woo, slow healing, slow traveler, just like the alternative route, and that's why I felt so comfortable reaching out to you is because I know there's other ways, birth control, antidepressants, all of these other ways that work for a lot of people, and I just wasn't willing to go that route and I wanted to build a foundation and a sustainable foundation to carry. It feels like now I've been set up for the rest of life to carry me through even way out. This is birth, yes, if I eventually become a mother, but menopause now I know so much about hormones and don't have to suffer. My mom did.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Yeah. There's such a generational burden that we can carry from just not knowing what even the most basic things about our body, and then when we start to experience these symptoms, we turn on ourselves. It's us. We're fundamentally flawed, and it's like, wait a second, I don't even actually know what a hormone is to just start. I don't even know what the reproductive anatomy is. What are the four phases of the cycle? When you start to really get into some of that knowledge, it helps you feel so much more confident and so much more grounded in yourself where it's like, this isn't a me as a person thing, this is my body is trying to communicate to me about what's happening inside thing.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, that's been a huge takeaway is knowledge is power and yeah, education is empowerment for sure.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
So huge and it's so exciting and inspiring to see you feeling confident about navigating massive hormonal futures that are coming for all of us. Tell us a little bit more about your experience in taking this approach, how it differed from what you tried in the past. Any other takeaways that you have to share from the work that we did?
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah. Well, I have to say I love, this is a very practical, so before reaching out to you, I was with the naturopath and we did a blood test and it confirmed, yes, my estrogen and progesterone are off, but then working with you and doing the HTMA was like, oh my gosh. First of all, this is way less invasive. The hair mineral tissue analysis, whatever it's called, and it shows so much information just from your hair. I mean, a blood test is great, but to add this on top of it also gives so much information, and once again, knowledge is power and we could go from there and change my lifestyle or whatever needed to be changed.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
We discovered so much in that HTMA that wasn't revealed in the blood labs when we were looking at the blood labs, and it really filled in some of those gaps of why am I doing all of these things and not quite getting the results that I'm looking for or seeing progress in these certain areas when so much with your mineral profile was depleted and so many other factors that we were navigating through that we're so excited to see and really gave you some validation again of I can see something on the page that is tying into my experience, and it's not just all in my head, it is in my body.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Part of it, of course, is in my head. I realized how powerful my mind is and different tools also to help my mind and shift the negative thoughts or even, what was it called? Autonomic training? Yeah, autogenic training, that stuff, it's amazing. So good for the nervous system. It's better than a nap. I felt so deep relaxation that I've never felt before.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
We work so much on stabilizing the nervous system, obviously through food and through minerals, but also through the practices, and it was great to see you coming out of some of those sessions, just a totally different version of yourself that when we entered because of that calm state that you were able to access through those practices. Any other wins or takeaways you want to share about the experience?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, it feels like this just really taking health in my own hands. It was, I think the blessing of youth and just my life was so structured and before, even though I was traveling, but it was structured to a certain extent, and it's like now I feel like I became an adult, almost like a mature woman with my health where it's like, okay, sure, it can be going well when everything's handed to you, but can it be going well when you're on your own? And so to realize, yes, I need to stabilize my blood sugar, I need to do various things to help me thrive. Like I said, this is for life, and so to have these tools in my toolbox is game changer.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You feel so much more resourced and prepared, and as you've been going through that process of working to reduce and manage the symptoms and regulate your nervous system and change some of those negative thinking patterns, what differences are you seeing in, we talked about how PD was impacting your quality of life before. Are you noticing any differences in your relationships or those other avenues of your life that were being affected by the symptoms previously? How are those shifting now that you've done so much work in this arena?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, I think first of all, opening myself and being vulnerable, sharing with people what's actually going on. It's like, oh my gosh, I have this whole support team, people who had no idea I was dealing with this stuff who really want to help me thrive. So realizing I don't have to do it alone. But also, yeah, I think as far as expression and communication and using my voice goes, speaking my needs, I can't emphasize that enough. It's crazy. I didn't think I would get that out of working with you, but here I am. I'm like, yeah, health, nutrition, all this. And then, yeah, this is an side benefit that communication wise, I feel more empowered to share my needs on a trip with a friend, or even if a friend is coming over for spend time with me, it's like, I need to eat lunch. I'm loving this and I need to nourish my body.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a huge part of the process for you where you're like, I'm showing up for myself in this work that we're doing, and then how you stepped into showing up for yourself in your life, and there were so many examples throughout the process of different people that you were stating your needs to, and that dynamic of just stepping into your power and being like, I can set a boundary. I can communicate my needs, and then I also can see how the people around me respond to that and use that as information to guide my healing journey moving forward. Because not everybody responds super well all the time, and that's information for you to decide, okay, what role is this person going to be playing in my life in the future? Just the symptoms can touch every aspect of your life.
(15:32):
And then healing the symptoms in so many different levels. And when I say healing, I don't mean curing. We still have hard days. We still experience PMDD symptoms. We're not curing that here, but there's some deep work that can happen in the process of learning to reduce and manage the symptoms that you don't expect. And for you, that was a huge part of that was like, I can handle myself, I can show up, I can state my needs, I can ask for them to be met. I can have my community come around me and support me through this when they weren't able before, on and on and on. How that one shift is going to change how you show up in so many different interactions.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
And just to cap that off, I love that you use the healing, not curing, because something I keep reminding myself as a mantra, I was like, okay, it's a practice. I trust myself and I am playful, not perfect, and getting rid of the people pleaser, perfectionism, tendencies and stepping into, like you said, my power and my voice and honoring myself and my boundaries, and sometimes I will slip up, and that's also the beautiful radical permission slip that you've given too. It's like, okay, we're human beings. It's going to be messy, and how can we be better tomorrow? It sounds cheesy, but it's those simple but profound truths that have, I think guided and carried us through,
Speaker 1 (16:56):
And it really is so much little by little day by day because you need different things. You need different boundaries. You need to speak up for yourself in different ways day by day. And it's also when you sometimes fall back into those old patterns that will happen where you learn the most, and so often we're like, that's a failure. I'm regressing. I'm two steps back, and it's like, oh, actually wait a second. Let's just get curious about it, because that is oftentimes where we learn the most about, okay, how are we stepping forward in that next step? So
Speaker 3 (17:30):
There
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Was so much more compassion that came for you throughout the process of, yes, this isn't perfect, and yes, this isn't. There are areas where it's hard. I am still dealing with symptoms. I'm still making it through PMDD, but the way that you handled yourself, talked to yourself, showed up for yourself, the dialogue slowly started to change, and it was more gentle, more compassionate, more patient.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, that's the name of the game. That's my deepest life lesson in work. Yes, it's still playing out. It's such a gift,
Speaker 1 (18:13):
But it's been so beautiful to witness, and I'm really curious to see how that continues to play out for you in the future because PMDD just makes you such a bully to yourself, and so you're literally rewriting your brain to have more compassion and patience.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Whenever I ask for advice from friends and family, they're like, well, first, I don't think you should beat yourself up. You're really hard on yourself. And it's like, ah, yeah, it's coming back to compassion and grace and
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Trust.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah. Well, my last question is sitting where you are today, what would you want to look back at Athena in March, in February of this year and say to her, or what would you want to say to someone who is in a similar place of feeling very hopeless? There's nothing you can do about this. There's no cure, so it's not worth trying. What would you want to say to that version of yourself or those out there still suffering?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Oh, I want to be like, oh, it feels like very inner child. It's like, baby girl, you've got this. It's like, yes, it's hard and it's going to be hard, and you're so worth it. Yeah, it's a very humanistic approach of like, okay, you were whole. You're still are whole, and you're going to continue to be whole, and PMDD is part of you. And so rather than kind of, I noticed I was shaming it or trying to judge it or criticize myself, it's like, what if we just embrace that part of you and loved it and just radical acceptance for where you are been? Yeah, I think through this journey, it's also like, whoa, there's different seasons of life and the season is a challenging one, and it's not going to stay that way.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, yeah. You've really created context. The experience can suck you into just such a narrow vision of just everything is terrible, all of this just very black and white thinking, and you've been able to build a lot of context and a lot of buffer around that. That helps you move through it in a different way and not get so stuck in that whole damage control cycle of climbing out of that hole every single cycle. Is that making sense?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's no longer in the hole, the dark cave. It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You might not see it now, but you will get there.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Well, we are so grateful for you sharing your story. It's so inspiring and so hopeful for all of those out there navigating this. Before we wrap up, anything else you'd like to add?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I'm just so grateful and I love the impact you're making and yeah, it feels very global. I'm just so grateful. Also for the women that I met through you, Jess and other women going through this, that invaluable, literally knowing you're not alone. Just look at Instagram, how many women are following you. It's like you are not alone and whoever's watching this, you are not alone and you don't have to do it alone. And whether you're with Jess or a naturopath or someone else, definitely worth taking action on your health and your future and your life.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Such good wisdom to share Athena, and it's been such a joy and a pleasure to witness you go through this process and like I said, continuing to show up for yourself even when it's hard and continuing to push through and then continuing to see what is getting curious about it. What am I getting out of this? What are the things that I'm uncovering and growing through and learning through in the experience? And it is going to continue to play out. We did an intensive four month process, but you're still doing the work. It's not like we put that graduation hat on you and it's all done. You're still showing up every day for yourself and advocating and speaking your needs and integrating all of it. So I'm so excited to see where it continues to take you. I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Thank you. And blessings to all the women who are on this journey and yeah, you got this. I just like, I want to be your biggest cheerleader. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yeah. It feels so dark, but it doesn't have to.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
And we
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Really need each other and we really need Athena there hyping you up like, yeah, girl, you got this. Because you do. And you need someone to tell you that a lot of the time, and we are here being that for you right now.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Alright,
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Athena. Thank you, John. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your story. So excited to get this out to the community and like I said, excited to see how this continues to unfold for you.
