Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello, this is Jess from Her Mood Mentor, and today I'm meeting with one of my PMDD rehab students and one-to-one clients. Emily. Hello, Emily.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So good to see you. Emily is here to share with us a little bit about her PMDD journey and help us raise some hope for those of you out there suffering. Thanks for being here, Emily.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah, we're so glad to have you. So tell us a little bit, what was it like, how was PMDD affecting you? What were the symptoms?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I feel like, well, firstly, I had every single symptom when I came to Jess and it was something that it felt like it was just taking over my life where I couldn't fully function or live the best version of my life that I know that I wanted to live. And I didn't really know much about PMDD until maybe a year prior, but from the age of 12 when I first started getting my periods, I was already struggling with so much throughout my teenage years and my family had to probably put up with a lot and it was really difficult, but I didn't know what was causing it. I just had all the symptoms and I felt horrible and had suicidal ideation and felt down a lot of the time and had all of these symptoms that would build up. And I just thought that that was normal for so long.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And I did find that when I started my career in the health and wellness space, that definitely my nutrition played a big part in helping how I was feeling mentally and my symptoms. But I did come to Jess purely because I started just having some really, really bad months. And I know that now looking back that now I can see was probably built up from being in quite a toxic relationship and feeling very stressed and overwhelmed and a lot of factors were contributing to how I was feeling. But yeah, really I wasn't in a great place before I came to Jess and I was like, I just need to do something and figure out something. Even if it's like I learn one thing that's going to be something that's going to help me in a positive direction to help with all my symptoms,
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Dealing with these symptoms for so long and just thinking it's normal, how many of us can share in that experience? And it's just so not okay. You're saying how it impacts how you want to work towards your goals, how it was impacting your relationships with your families, the choices that you were making. You can only know if you live through something like this. Right.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
And having even that in itself, it's like other people may not fully understand what it is. And so that's even more of a reason why I think it's so important to bring awareness around it, not just for the people that are suffering with symptoms, but for everyone else who might know someone that has PMDD and can fully understand, oh, it's actually more than I think everyone with PMDD put on such a strong front. Recently I had fractured ribs, but I didn't even, it was such a minute thing because I was so used to the pain of my periods every month that I was like, oh, I'm fine. So many people like, oh, fractured ribs are the worst thing ever. And I'd be like, oh, okay, no worries.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Yeah, we're a tough bunch. We can stomach a lot. And I remember you going through that fractured rib stage so smoothly. You're like, I'm going to start doing pushups in a couple of weeks. I'm like, girl, what is happening? But yeah, it makes us so much more resilient. We have to be, and that is a positive that we can see out of the suffering that had came before with what you were experiencing, what motivated you specifically to take more of a root cause, more integrative type approach to your symptoms rather than what you had tried in the past?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I think with anything, if you want to get better at something, having someone who is an expert in the field and knows what they're talking about and can actually teach you things that you might not know is super important. Same thing with going to the gym. If you are new to the gym and you dunno how to do an exercise, having a personal trainer or someone to actually teach you, they know what to do to help you build certain types of muscle for your goals. Or same thing with nutrition, if you speak to the experts in the thing that you want to improve on, and I think that's really important. I stumbled across your Instagram and I was like, oh my goodness, I need this in my life because I am based in Australia and have never really actually seen anything like it or known anyone that specializes in pan bd. So even just based on their country and the awareness here, I had no idea. So to be able to actually have the opportunity to jump on a Zoom call and be able to chat with you, it's been really, really helpful. So,
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Well, it's been such a joy to work with you, Emily, and it is so cool that we can work with each other from all the way across the world, and I can see you making all this beautiful progress and I can cheer you on as you're going along. And when we started out and looking back at your notes, when we started out, you were reporting around two weeks of moderate to severe symptoms. So as you worked through the process here and went through our program, what changed for you, if anything? What were you noticing? Any shifts with the symptoms?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yeah, I think I did know that I really needed help and support with my symptoms because they were literally taking up half my life and I run a business and when something relies on you to function and then you yourself feeling like you can't function, it's like it's such a hard thing to go through and to get that two weeks felt like forever. And then you finally get to your period and then you've still got another five days of really intense pain and bleeding and nausea and all of the other things that come along with that. And then you're like, oh, I finally am so excited to have a one week of feeling good. And then it goes like that and you're like, okay, back into the struggle again. And just over the months that we've worked together, really just understanding and learning about even the menstrual cycle.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I never really got taught much about that too growing up and to know a bit more about, I'm in the nutrition field, but it's just certain foods and things that actually help with our hormones specifically in that department and just all the value in the support that I've gotten from you, Jess. It's just I've now learned how to manage my symptoms and what certain symptoms can be a result from, and that's now individual results may vary. I went through a breakup and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself as well, but really focusing on knowing, trusting our gut and knowing what we need because our body tells us things. And really looking at my life from that bird's eye view was like, oh, okay, it's more than just symptoms and they come from somewhere. And now I've gotten to the point where I'm not feeling the severity that I was feeling for two weeks straight.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I maybe had a few days of bad symptoms, maybe one day of suicidal ideation, like a month the last couple of months. But it's like that in itself is like, wow, one day of feeling at my lowest compared to two weeks of struggling to get through every single day having, and even when I do have some bad symptoms, being able to understand and be aware of what it is, it's like, oh, yes, I'm feeling this way. Oh, it makes sense because this is where I'm at in my cycle. This is what I can do to kind of help myself right now. And then it doesn't seem as big or as scary because you know that it's just a part of the process and you can understand just the education around it. Knowing is so much, gives you so much more peace of mind rather than not knowing why it's wrong with me, why is this happening?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You know what I mean? When you can't understand something, then you have even more negative thoughts and then they spiral and then it turns worse. Whereas when you actually know what's happening, you're like, oh, it's fine. It's just this. And it's like, even though it is still a struggle at times, it's just actually looking back and seeing the difference between how long those periods, periods of struggle have lasted. And yeah, like you said, that resilience is a muscle. You're like where already resilient people. So when you can actually understand it and be able to know what to do to help yourself, then that resilience is just, you just automatically see that shift and it's like, okay, cool. It's like that time between having to get back up again, it just feels so much easier having that support.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean when you're not cut down for two weeks of two to three weeks with the period included every single cycle, you can bounce back quicker. And when you have that confidence to know, okay, I know when this is happening. I know some of the reasons why it's happening. I know what to do when it comes up. I know how to communicate differently. I know how to ask for help differently. I know where to set boundaries. There's so much more at your fingertips than those negative thoughts of just, it's always going to be this way. There's nothing I can do. I deserve this. We can go down some dark rabbit holes. You can bounce back so much quicker. So exciting, such a huge transformation that you have gone through. And also after all of those years, I mean we're talking close to 10 years probably, that you were dealing with those symptoms if they started when you started your period from where you are now and also seeing you're still quite young, Emily, which is fabulous, and you're not going to allow these symptoms to dictate another decade of your life for half of the time. So how have these changes in the symptom severity and duration, what are you now seeing in the quality of your life? How are things different with your job, with your relationships, any changes that you're noticing through the improvement of the symptoms?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, I think something that I've always struggled with growing up is the ability to have that self-love and actually give myself that care that everyone needs a lot of because maybe the negative thoughts that would sleep through or not feeling worthy or because just having all of these emotions and things that have popped up. And definitely over the last couple of months I've really been able to see the value in myself more as well. And I've actually learned a lot about self-care and how to celebrate my own wins. I think like me as a person, I am very much will hype up everybody else except myself a lot of the time, and I'm so good at recognizing other people's wins and celebrating them. But to be able to actually do that for me and develop that as a skillset has been really empowering in itself as well, because we do have to give ourselves grace.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I know that in the time that I have mentored by US, I've had quite a lot of personal life stresses as well, and even understanding the fact that our eggs take 90 days to go through their full cycle. So that delay, I used to think, oh yeah, just our periods are once a month, but I wouldn't understand. Yeah, it's like, why am I feeling so bad this month? But then when I look back about three months prior, I'm like, oh yeah, that was a really stressful time in my life and I had a lot of things going on. And that gives me some peace of mind too because it's like, well, it's just my body's way of really seeing that in this way and being able to just understand my body so much more and give itself what it needs. I love the gym, I love exercising, and I used to push myself so hard to go and train because just what I thought I had to do, but allowing myself to rest and having injuries that have forced me to rest.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
But then also all of these things are kind of happening at the same time. So it's all in correlation, but it's just like everything in life is teaching us lessons. And I think that it couldn't have been a better time for me to fully understand how those things have affected me and my body and how I can really just start with one step forward to keep improving every day, which I already have that kind of mindset. But then it gets to those two weeks and it's like you can have the biggest positive mindset in the world, but then when you're struggling, it always feels really hard to keep that level of positivity. And yeah, I think I've just, I've been able to make some really positive changes in my life. I'm now actually in a really new and healthy relationship, and I can see all of these positive things coming out of what I've learned in the time with you as well.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
That's such an inspiring story. Emily, you have been through so much. It's crazy to just look back at the four months that we've been working together and see all of the things that you've been through and changed and learned and achieved in such a short period of time, knowing that this has been going on for you for years and years and years, and that to see the turnaround of what you've been able to do in the last four months, it's so inspiring. It's inspiring for me to see it, but it's also so inspiring for you to see yourself show up for yourself and set some of these hard boundaries and take care of yourself in new ways and communicate about what you're going through and getting support in new ways. And it doesn't stop here, it's just going to continue to unfold. And I'm so excited to see what comes for you as it continues to unfold. I am curious if you could zip back for five months and time, or if you could talk to a woman who was in the place that you were during those years of two plus weeks of severe symptoms, feeling really hopeless, feeling like there's nothing that they can do to change their story, that this is just what they deserve, how it is for them. What would you want to say to those women or to that earlier version of yourself now that you're sitting where you currently are?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I've always had the mindset of just never give up. That's something that I wish, I mean, the timing that I'm so glad that I came across you and I did. I wish that I had found you earlier, but just know that there's going to be so many people that tell you you're fine, and that you can have this mindset of, oh yeah, this is just me, or whatever. Because other people are telling you that there's something that there's nothing wrong. Or you go to doctors and they can't figure out, or they can't tell you what's wrong with you. So then it's like you keep thinking, oh yeah, it's fine, or this is normal. And I think something that I've really learned about myself as well in this time is to really trust my body. And our body tells us things before our mind might even fully understand what that is. But if you are feeling like you are not at your a hundred percent happiest, best version of yourself, and you are not being able to live your life to the absolute fullest, whether that's mentally, physically, anything like that, never give up because you can live your life in a so much better way, and you shouldn't settle for what you think is normal or what people tell you. Trust what you're feeling and do everything in your power to help yourself.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Don't let yourself just say, oh, well, I've just got PMDD, so that's just how it is. And let yourself be in the symptoms. Everyone can make progress no matter what it is in life, and it can be overwhelming. And it was overwhelming for me. I know I literally got to the point before I booked my sessions with Jess, I literally was like, what am I going to do? And I felt like I didn't have any other options, but I was like, no, it's an investment to myself. And I might've just been like, no, I'm doing it. And I made that decision, and that was, yes, a sacrifice that I had to make compared to some other things in my life. But I know that my health is so much more important than anything. It doesn't matter about the new active wear or all the other material things that you might want to buy. It's like, no, you need to make the decision to help yourself as well. So yes, we can. I, you're just going to make the decision sometimes. And I think that was the best decision that I've made because even though it seemed very confronting and overwhelming and I felt like that was, I was like, well, I'm just going to have to do it because I literally was at such a low point, and now that we've gotten to this point, it just feels like it was all worth it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
I got goosebumps. I was chilling over here because hearing you say, I trust my body when we're living with PMDD, I mean somebody who's four months back from where you are now or even further, that's almost incomprehensible. Our body is against us. Our body is attacking us. That's what it feels like. How could I trust my body? I can't trust myself. And to come out of this with that understanding and that knowing that, yeah, these symptoms are messages, these symptoms are telling me things about what my body needs. I can learn to listen to them. And that is a completely invaluable, no amount of money. Nothing could replace that awareness that you now have, that understanding of your body, that trust in your body, priceless. That shift between hating yourself, hating your body, and looking to your body with compassion and saying, what are you trying to say? What is going on here? What can I do to meet you where you are at and provide the needs that your body is telling you through those symptoms and see the symptoms get better. It's so affirming and it raises so much confidence not only in what you're capable of, just in general in your life, if you can learn to reduce and manage these symptoms that we're consuming two weeks of your life,
Speaker 2 (24:01):
It's actually making me emotional.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
And then the behaviors that come out of those symptoms, just confirm your beliefs in yourself. Yeah, I'm not worth it. Yeah, I shouldn't invest in myself. My health doesn't matter. I don't matter. It's just this perpetual cycle for you to be able to inform months come out of that. I'm getting emotional down, come out of that saying the things that you're saying. I mean, what? It's so powerful. It's been so inspiring and such a joy to watch you heal and grow and start to love yourself again. And I have some quotes, which we also might cry over too, but I have some quotes to read from your sessions. So by the second session, you said this month has been a lot better. You said, I only had a few days of symptoms this cycle instead of two weeks. So that was very early on by session three. You said, I'm capable.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
You said, I'm feeling more confident. I can love myself. And then I have some, yeah, I need to start telling everyone, bring tissues to this call because we're both going to be crying. In the last session, you said, I'm a lot more conscious. You said, I haven't had rage. So exciting. You said, again, I've only had a few days of symptoms instead of two weeks, you said, I used to push myself so hard trying to do everything during luteal, and now I'm actually giving myself what I need. And you said, I've been able to show up to my life now that I'm not feeling awful.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Well, just to reiterate, some of those wins for you, and those are factual, right? This isn't just like, oh, I think I'm feeling better. We collect the data, we run the assessments, we compare the assessments, we do the work to make sure that you are getting the results that you came here to get, and then we watch what that unfolds for you in your life. Because ultimately people come to work with us because they want to feel better, but that's not really why they come to work with us. They come to work with us because they want to get their lives back. This condition steals people's lives, not only actually with the suicide rate, but with the days and weeks and months and ultimately years that add up to losing yourself in this process of trying to survive under the weight of these symptoms.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And even with the symptom tracking as well, how I looked back at when I first started and I would be tracking symptoms majority of the days, and then the last month I think I wrote in a few symptoms and I was like, oh, yeah, that's like the symptom. And I'd write it down. But over the whole month I was like, oh, that's compared to when I started feeling severe. And it's not like when I say that I had all the symptoms, they were all the symptoms and they were so severe and it was like they were debilitating because it was like, yeah, just everything. And then now to just have even a few symptoms but not be severe. They're not super, super severe that I'm really struggling. It's just enough that I'm aware that it's my symptoms. But yeah, I've been able to manage those too. And just when I think about the tracking that we've done, that in itself has been like, oh, wow, that's reduced so much.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Yeah, it's so good for you to see it because again, through this process, we're really helping build your confidence. We're shifting your mindset. We're helping you understand what those symptoms are telling you, and so you're not coming out of this the goal, oh, now you work with just forever and she's your life raft. It's you figure out how to make this work for you and how to go forward in a way that you're confident not only navigating premenstrual symptoms, but say you have a child, say you go through perimenopause, right? You are equipped now. Say you have a really stressful time, which you have already had during the process, but you are coming out of it equipped with more skills, more resources, and more confidence that you can handle whatever life comes at you. Where before, when you're suffering for two to three weeks with symptoms, how could you feel confident that you could handle anything that comes at you because you're barely surviving? It's been a huge shift, and I've just been so grateful to be a part of with you, to see the changes happening, to see you showing up, smile ear and smile ear at all of our calls, and to hear those words that we read coming out of your mouth. So thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Well, anything else? Any last words before we wrap up your story here?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I feel like, yeah, in terms of my journey, it's been, I really appreciate everything that I learned over this time and the support that I've had from you and the knowledge that you've been able to give me. But I'm just excited now for the next stages of learning. It's never like, okay, we're done. It's always continuing to get better and it never kind of ends, but I am excited to have this come with me and continue to become that best version of myself that I know that we can all work towards. So,
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah. Well, and I'm so excited. I always tell our clients, I have already told you when you graduate out of the program, I'm like, don't be a stranger. This is going to continue to unfold and continue to share those wins with me because I am always celebrating all of our client wins and they don't stop here. Right? It's going to continue, and I'm so excited to get little messages from you in the future about what's unfolding for you, and yeah, it's been such a joy working with you, Lisa. Thanks for being here. Thanks for sharing your inspiring and powerful story and for raising hope for the many women out there who are still suffering.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Thank you.
